The ABCs of Life...A is for Anger Management

Yup, just going to jump in with a biggie; anger management.  I'm sure you know someone who could take that class, maybe you're even looking at that person in the mirror right now.  It may be a life-long battle or one recently brought on by a series of misfortunes.  In either case, it still needs to be dealt with before lives and relationships are irrevocably damaged.

Oh, come on now, you may be saying.  Everyone gets angry.  True, but to what extent, and more importantly, to what degree?  What is the impact of the outburst?  Is there property damage?  Bodily harm to the angry person or someone else as a direct result of the outburst?  Has someone been left an emotional basket case as a direct result of dealing with an angry person?  And here's a biggie...has the anger consumed the person to the extent that it has affected them mentally, physically, or emotionally so much so that their well-being is a cause for concern?

Asura falls to Earth and is con­sumed by anger



(FYI, this video game may be contain content inappropriate content for children, just in case you want to click on the link. I just thought it was a good picture to demonstrate my point. I, personally, do not approve of this type of game, but that's just me.)

I'll admit it.  I was that person for a while as a result of a bad relationship and the battles that followed.  At first it was understandable, and expected.  I am human, after all.  What made me realize it had taken over my life were the warning signs I hadn't seen individually, but, collectively, made me stop dead in my tracks and consciously decide to not let my anger control me any longer.

Now, my warning signs may be similar for others, and I have no medical training, but take note if you see these signs in others or yourself.  You may be headed down my path, or already there.



Here were my warning signs:

• nightmares
• anxiety when going anywhere I thought my ex might be (to the point I felt sick)
• inability to talk about anything else (yup, lost friends over this one)
• inability to focus on daily tasks
• frequent daydreams of retaliation and revenge
• realizing that these feelings were taking over my life

Yeah, it wasn't pretty.  I really didn't like myself for a while, but I really loathed him.  So how did I escape?  One thing was for sure; even I was sick of hearing myself talk about it...reliving the events and conversations over and over was just draining me of my joy.  I didn't like being angry all the time.  I recognized it, but didn't know how to get out of it.  One day I was on my way to work and was flipping channels on the radio, when I came across KWVE, also know as "the Wave." (Before I go any further, let me say this absolutely is not about how you must find God, or any other kind of religion, for that matter.  This is just my story and how I found my happy place again.)  My car ride was an hour and a half each way to  and from work (gotta love L.A.), so I found myself listening to the stories of love and forgiveness.  I also found a local church and started going regularly.  I began counseling to get through my feelings and I stopped talking about "it."  The biggest, and by far, hardest thing I did, was to make myself forgive my ex, really forgive him, in my heart.  It was huge for me.  I could feel the weight just being lifted.

It's so simply, yet so difficult at times.  We really are in charge of our lives; how we react to situations, who we let affect us, and how; the direction our lives will go.  Am I always happy? Absolutely not!  Do I ever still get angry with my ex?  Darned tootin' I do!  But, he no longer controls my life, or rather I won't allow my negative feelings about the past decide the direction of my future.  I made a conscious decision to take back my life.  I owe it to myself and to the people who care about me.