Yup, that's me, well at least that's the BitStrip me. (I do pretty much look like that, give or take a few pounds, and yes, my hair is lighter than my profile pic.) Anyway, this cartoon in particular called out to me yesterday because this is how I've been feeling lately.
I suppose it would be more accurate if I were drawn with a few more arms, but I'll just go with two and the two directions pulling the hardest.
One one side is my mother. At 94 she is doing well, physically, but she doesn't think so. Of course she has slowed down considerably and she's not nearly as spry as she once was, but then that's to be expected. The problem is that she has dementia. It is so difficult to watch a loved one struggle with this; the confusion, the paranoia, the time slips, and losing them bit by bit every day. I help her as much as I can, but it's never enough, or at least that's how I feel. Plus I feel utterly useless a good portion of the time. I can't force her to remember what just is not there and I cannot control her moods. I just do what I can do.
Then there's the other side, pulling just as hard for my attention, but just not aware he's doing it; my lovebug, my Little Man. He has ADHD and needs just a wee bit of help staying focused on the task at hand. I love him just the way he is, with all his quirks and goofiness, but when it's time to get down to business, I know if I'm not there, in the same room with him, the work won't get done. (And don't even let me get started on the whole school thing. That's a post all to itself.)
So, you see my dilemma? My mother or my child. How can one chose one over the other? So, I go back and forth between the two; trying to give each of them the attention they want and need, but always feeling like it's never enough.
I sure could use a clone right about now.
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